


The Path To Wisdom

by amyfortuna



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: 5 Times, Anger, Developing Relationship, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Nerdanel/Fëanor (mentioned)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-17 07:40:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12360846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amyfortuna/pseuds/amyfortuna
Summary: Five times Nerdanel paid a visit to Nienna's house (and one time Nienna came to Nerdanel's).





	The Path To Wisdom

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Independence1776](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Independence1776/gifts).



> Thank you for pinch hitting, Indy! :-)

Nienna's house was built at the extreme edge of Valinor, buttressed against the Walls of Night. As a young girl wandering alone in the woods of Valinor, Nerdanel came upon the place, and felt the compassion of the Vala sweep over her mind like a wave. 

She did not understand it, not then. What need had she of compassion? For she was young and the world was fair and bright, with no sorrow or lack in it. Why was there a Vala who spent her time in weeping? 

Nerdanel bowed respectfully before the house, and then retreated into the woods, shivering with feelings she could not quite put a name to. For there was compassion and mercy -- qualities she knew that Nienna espoused -- but also there was keen interest in her, and a passionate rush of feeling that set her limbs trembling and her heart pounding. 

She did not understand it -- nor feel it again -- until some years later when she met Fëanáro for the first time.

* * *

Pregnancy with her third child gave Nerdanel the impulse to wander like she had not for years upon years. Fëanáro was busy just then with his study of languages and writing, perfecting the Tengwar with the help of young Maitimo. Makalaurë, his voice just beginning to develop, was off in Valmar taking lessons from an ancient Vanya called Ilvarë, and so Nerdanel was left to her own devices. 

Nienna's house -- if house it could be called -- still stood alone and silent at the very edge of the world. The Vala was inside, Nerdanel knew, and yet she hesitated for long moments before she knocked at the door. 

"I wish to speak with Nienna," she said to the slender, white-haired Maia who opened the door. He gave her a nod and a gracious smile, inviting her in with a gesture to take a seat on the wide white stone bench not far inside. 

Nienna's house was all whites and greys, filled with the music of slowly falling water from fountains scattered about. Nerdanel, after sitting on the limestone bench for a few minutes, rose up again, and walked over to the nearest fountain, trying to see how the intricate carving was done to allow the water to fall like tears down an androgynous face carved in relief into a large grey stone.

Before she could fully examine the sculpture, Nienna herself appeared, gliding slowly toward Nerdanel, clad in a grey gown. She wore white jewels in her silver hair, and smiled to see Nerdanel. 

"You are colour and brightness in a dim grey world, lady of the Noldor," Nienna said, holding out her hands. Nerdanel took them within her own, and kissed them, as a form of respect. "Do you have something to ask me?" 

Truth be told, Nerdanel had no particular question in mind, but one sprang up all unwittingly at the query. 

"What does it mean to be wise, Nienna?" she asked, surprising herself with her words. 

Nienna looked away for a long moment, and then back again to Nerdanel, meeting her eyes. "Wisdom is, in part, perspective. If you can look beyond the moment in which you now live, and understand that there is a greater Song, a greater Story that all of us are part of, and that we all have our parts to play in it, then you will be near to wisdom."

"I understand," Nerdanel answered, turning the words over in her mind. 

"No," Nienna said. "You do not yet understand. But you may, Nerdanel. You may."

* * *

Nerdanel marched up to Nienna's door, anger ringing through every part of her. The whole journey had been undertaken in a blaze of passion, sparked by her latest argument with Fëanáro. 

Once inside, she settled down on the white bench, looking around at the cool grey carvings and fountains, and felt the thunder of her pulse beginning to settle. It was cold here at the edge of the world, and there was a comfort in the simplicity of the colours and the beauty and grace of the carvings. 

"Nerdanel," Nienna said, approaching her. "Bright, bold, fiery Nerdanel, why have you come to me now?"

She had been intending to start off on a rant about Fëanáro, but opened her mouth, and the words fled from her, others emerging in their place. "Let me make you a statue," she said. "Let me stay here for a while and create something for you." 

Nienna reached out for her hand, and Nerdanel gave it to her, feeling calmness steal over her, slow and sweet. 

"Stay here as long as you need to," Nienna said.

* * *

"I can't stay with him any longer," Nerdanel said. "Nor he with me. I've tried, we've both tried, but we rile each other up now instead of tempering each other as we used to." 

"Then being apart is best for now," Nienna said. She laid a hand on Nerdanel's shoulder, and Nerdanel turned to press her tear-sodden face against Nienna's arm, steady and strong. "My beautiful Nerdanel, so bright, so full of passion."

"It's not his fault," Nerdanel said. "At the heart of me I still love him. But I love more than only him, and I fear the path I see him taking. He turns away from honouring the Valar, and I cannot follow him down that road." 

"Every person walks down their own road in the end," Nienna murmured softly. "Just because you love someone does not mean you must follow them no matter where they go. You have your own path to walk." 

"My path, it seems, leads me oft to you," Nerdanel said, a smile breaking through her tears. She looked up, her face tear-stained, and Nienna bent toward her, kissing first one cheek, then the other, and kissing the tears away from her eyelids. Nerdanel sighed, and let herself fall into Nienna's embrace, for there was peace and comfort in it.

* * *

"The Trees, the Trees," Nienna whispered, rocking back and forth on the bench, her arms wrapped around herself in the darkness, tears streaming down her face. "The Trees are gone, the Trees are dead, I am bereft, and all is dark."

The door opened, and a blue light shone through, casting all the statues into sharp relief. Nerdanel, her hand upraised, emerged from behind the Fëanorian lamp. She made her way over to Nienna and set the light down beside her on the bench, then took the Vala into her arms. 

"I know, beloved, I know," she said softly. She laid a kiss on Nienna's forehead, holding her close as they both cried, tears falling like rain on the stones.

* * *

The house was long dark and cold. Forgotten clothing and trinkets littered the floors, and all the furniture was thick with dust. Under the light of the stars, Nerdanel pushed the door open and walked in, snapping back the cover on the Fëanorian lamp she held in one hand to illuminate the darkness. 

On the sofa a tunic belonging to Telufinwë lay wrinkled, and she picked it up, hugging it close as though it were the owner himself. She could feel the tears springing up in the back of her throat, and swallowed hard, trying to will them away. She could not give in to hopelessness, not now. 

"Perspective," she whispered to herself. "Everyone walks down their own road. Everyone has their own part to play in the great Song." 

"Wise words, Nerdanel," said a beloved voice from behind her. She turned with a gasp to find Nienna there, and gave a sudden laugh. 

"You were the one who told me these words!"

Nienna held out her hand, a solemn smile crossing her face. "Ah, but Nerdanel, at last you understand them." She took Nerdanel's hand in her own, raising it to her lips. "Come out into the garden, beloved." She gestured to the Fëanorian lamp. "You will have no need of the light."

Nerdanel followed Nienna out into the overgrown garden, where many of her statues peered out from wild hedges and through tall grass. The stars shone bright above, and Nienna held her hand close. 

"Watch," she said, and the sky began to fade to grey in the first Moonrise.


End file.
